The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
