They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
