My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
