remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
