i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
