dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
