I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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