Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
