OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
