i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
