I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Floor bacon is actually really good
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