I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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