'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
