Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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