youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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