We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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