he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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