do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
