...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
