what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
