Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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