even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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