1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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