Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
