Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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