She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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