so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
