Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
