We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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