She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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