i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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