I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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