I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
