Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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