you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
