No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
