In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
