Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
