is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am mentally ready for anal.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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