Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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