I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
