I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
