WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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