But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
