grandma shit on top of the toilet
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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