ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
