Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
