Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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