i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
