Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's shark week go big or go home
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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