If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
