I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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